If you give a Hart a Honda

If you give a Hart a Honda

She'll drive it to and from her work.

Since the commute is 30 miles long, she'll most likely want some music.

Music will make her want to listen to her "Damn Playlist" on her iPhone.

If she puts the music on 'Shuffle', there's a chance Michael Franti's 'Sound of Sunshine' will start to play as she's driving along the 101.

The song will make her think of the ocean and the beach.

She'll start to plan a trip to California and wonders who she knows to stay with.

She'll start to think about her favorite cousin Mary and her favorite cousin Vall.

She'll begin to plan the details and how long it will take to drive.

The thought of driving will remind her that she's driving.

She'll look up at the street sign and begin to panic as her exit sign passes overhead.

But then she'll relax just a little when she realizes it was only the half mile mark.

She'll get over as quickly (and safely) as she can to make her exit.

As the adrenalin begins to subside, she'll start to laugh at herself.

Laughing will remind her that she's funny.

That will remind her that she has a blog.

As she's plotting out the words to write in her head about the wonderful 3 minute vacation she just had, her autopilot kicks in and she makes her turn onto 39th drive.

Turning onto 39th drive will remind her that the babysitter has moved and no longer lives on 39th drive.

As she's driving to correct her mistake, she'll think how funny this whole debacle was.

As she's laughing, she'll be reminded that she's funny and also has a blog.

She'll start to plot out the words to the second half of her blog post.

Blogging will remind her she once got paid to blog.

That will remind her that her first payment on her new Honda is due next month.

Which will remind her that this Hart has a really awesome Honda.

My exercise thought log

8:00am – I’m feeling good today; full of energy. After work, I’m going to the gym. I’ll run 2 miles on the treadmill and workout my arms and abs. Good plan.

12:30pm – Still feeling strong, but maybe 2 miles on the treadmill is a bit much. I don’t want to be discouraged if I don’t make it. So, 1 mile on the treadmill and definitely gonna work out the abs. Yeah.

2:30pm – Oh hell! Is this day ever going to end? The gym? Oh, right. That was the plan. Yes, still going to the gym.

3:00pm – Yes! Off work. Get the kids, go home and veg. I mean, go to the gym.

3:30pm – So not going to the gym today. I’ll do some ab crunches and pushups before bed.

7:00pm – Why didn’t I go to the gym today? I’m such a lazy ass and I feel like a blog.

10:00pm – looking in the mirror – “Fat Ass”

10:05pm – I’ll set the alarm for 3:45am and go for a run at 4. Then hit the gym for weights after work I’m gonna do it this time. I really am…

3:45am – What the hell is that noise? Oh dear God it’s the alarm! NOT EVEN JESUS IS UP THIS EARLY! Alarm clocks should be shot and drug back to the fiery pits of hell where they came from!

4:00am – THE ALARM AGAIN? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU STUPID PHONE WITH YOUR BUILT IN ALARM?

4:30am – Running? What the hell was I thinking?

5:00am – looking in the mirror – “Fat Ass! You should have gotten up earlier to run.”

8:00am – I’m feeling good today; full of energy. After work, I’m going to the gym. I’ll run 2 miles on the treadmill and workout my arms and abs. Good plan. Oh shit. I forgot to do the ab crunches and pushups last night.