Not Me Monday - Photoshoot edition

It wasn’t me who took our darling boys to the park so they could play. Nope, I took them so I could take their pictures.

Of course, our children are always happy to have their picture taken.

I did not have to bribe them with Rice Krispy Treats that I had made earlier that day in order to elicit this photo.

They’re never uncooperative.

I didn’t tell John to lean back onto his brother while his brother was strewn between 2 slides at a precarious angel.

After such a wonderful time at the park with the most perfect little boys ever, I’m not thinking about going back to the park to retake their photo’s using these benches; especially now that they’ve had haircuts.

Oh, and this conversation that happened on Saturday between Gary and John did not remind me of my own childhood growing up:

Gary: Mom, John’s picking his nose.

Mom and Dad: So

Dad: It’s his nose, let him pick it.

Gary: But it’s gross and I don’t want to look at it.

James: So don’t look at him.

Gary: But I want to look out his window.

James: Then you’ll have to deal with looking at him while he picks his nose.

A few minutes later


John: Mom, Gary’s looking out my window.

Linking up with MckMama and Not Me Monday

The looney bin, or close to it

John’s idea of a snack
John: “Mom, can I have a snack?”

Me: “No, it’s almost dinner time.”

John: Runs into my bedroom because he knows daddy always has snacks on his end table.

Me: Sees John running into our bedroom and knows exactly what’s on his mind; runs in after him, just as he reaches the end table; observes him look around for a second then watch as he walks back towards me. He’s clearly got something in his mouth. With hands on hips, ask “John, what are you eating?”

John: “Oh, just my boogers”


Gary’s idea of logic
Gary: “Did you know that nobody ever gets hurt in Garyland?”

Me: “Really? Like nobody ever gets hurt there?”

Gary: “Nope, nobody ever gets hurt in Garyland.”

Me: “Well, what about the bad guys?”

Gary: “Well, they get hurt. Of course.”

Me: “But you just said nobody ever gets hurt in Garyland.”

Gary: “Except the bad guys.”

Me: “No, you said nobody which means everybody does not get hurt. You didn’t specify any exceptions in your comment.”

Gary: “I don’t know what that means.

Me: “That means, with no exceptions then the bad guys don’t get hurt.”

Gary: “I just said they get hurt. I’m a ninja and I’m the only one in Garyland that can hurt the bad guys.”

Me: “Do you get hurt?”

Gary: “No, I’m a ninja!

Me: “Oh, ok. That’s clear as mud.”


James’ idea of keeping me off the computer for a whole weekend.
James: “I’m going to take the CPU to the desktop down to Staples and have them clean it up so it runs faster.”

Me: “Oh sweet! How long will that take?”

James: “A couple of days.”


A few hours later


James: “You couldn’t go a whole weekend without your precious computer and the internet.”

Me: “Yes I could. I’m not an addict.”

James: “Yes you are. I’ll bet if you don’t get on the computer at all this weekend I’ll be taking you to the loony bin by Sunday night.”

Me: “You’re on”


Fast forward to Saturday night.


James: “Crap, I’m out of insulin.”

Me: “That sucks.”

James: “It’s really late and I’m all ready in my underwear. *sigh*”

Me: “That sucks even more.”

James: “I’m kinda hoping that you’ll go to the pharmacy for me since you’re still dressed and all.”

Me: “No.”

James: “I’ll life your computer ban if you go.”

Me: “The ban isn’t really for you to lift, now is it? But ok, I’ll go. If you kiss my toe.”

James: “WHAT?! That’s so gross!”

Me: “Have fun at the pharmacy.”

James: “Which one?”

Me: “The one you broke. Twice!”

James: Puckers up and kisses my toe.

Me: Goes to the pharmacy and picks up his prescription. Gets back home and tells James, “Now my computer ban is lifted! Woo Hoo!”

James: “No, you said I had to kiss your toe and I did. The computer ban is still on.”

Me: “I don’t think so! You said I could have it back if I went.”

James: “Then you changed the rules.”

Me: “No I didn’t, I just added to them!”


15 minutes later


James: “Hey, come check this out on the computer.”

Me: “What is it?”

James: “Just come look at it.”

Me: Sits down at the computer and enters the password into the laptop; gets an error message that the username or password was incorrect; enters the password again; gets the same error message. “Did you change the password on the laptop?”

James: “Yes, I did. The ban is still on!”

Me: Taps out password after password because I know all of his usual ones but nothing is working! Sees a button for ‘switch users’; presses the button but no other users pop up; presses Ctrl/L to get the list of users to come up but no success.
James: “Oh, and I also removed the other users”


8PM Sunday night

Me: “Well, since the weekend started at 8pm on Friday, then the weekend ends at 8pm on Sunday.”

James: “I don’t think so. The weekend ends on Monday.”

Me: “Do you want sex?”

James: “Yes”

Me: “Then give me the password!”

James: Changes the password on the laptop.

Me: Plays on the laptop for the rest of the night


My idea of helping James cook
James: “All I need you to do is stir the pasta roni after the water starts to boil. Then, start the microwave about 5 minutes before dinner is ready. Can you handle that?”

Me: “I’m not an idiot! I know how to cook some things.” Reading the directions on the back of the Pasta Roni; it says to slowly pour in the pasta and special seasoning; looks in the box, removes the seasoning; opens both packets and dumps the contents of both special seasoning and pasta into the pot all at once; stirs contents; pot boils over. “Crap!”

Once dinner is served

FIL: “Do we have any veggies to go with dinner?”

James: Looks at me.

Me: Looks at the microwave; jumps up and presses ‘Start’.

James: Looks at FIL – “They’ll be ready in 5 minutes. We can have them for dessert.”

James & FIL: Give me dirty looks

Me: “What? You know I’m inept in the kitchen. Why does this surprise you?”

After the microwave dings

Me: “Someone better get that, you know how inept I am in the kitchen. I don’t want to ruin the freshly cooked vegetables.”

I should be sleeping, but clearly I'm not

I took the whole day off work today! I took Gary to school and John and I just hung out. All day! On our way home from taking Gary to school, John decided to show off his counting skills. His idea of counting:

25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 2030. Um, ok!

We started our day with a walk around the neighborhood. John rode his scooter while I walked behind him. Of course, I took my camera with me. I've decided that taking pictures of flowers is where my strengths lie with photography.

I have no idea what this is, but it grew on a tree. I was really intrigued with this 'flower' that I had to take a picture of it. John touched it and did not like it!

As we turned a corner, these flowers were protruding from the edge of someones yard.  Soon after this picture was taken, John decided he was getting tired of riding his scooter. But I managed to persuade him to ride a little further.

 I really liked the way this picture turned out. I added some texture in post edit and am really pleased with the effects. What do you think? I entered this one into the i heart faces community.

I don't think this one really qualifies as a flower, but I really liked it. So I took a picture of it! I saw one of these plants on the transition of 2 highways a week or so ago and wanted to stop and take a picture of it. So imagine my surprise when I found one in my very own neightborhood!

In the middle of our walk today, John really just wanted to go and I wanted to stop and take pictures!

After we got done with our walk, I decided to take John out on his bike. We've been working on riding without training wheels. He's absolutely terrified of falling, but he did pretty well for his first time. He managed to ride on his own for about 3 seconds!

After school was out, I had promised Gary we would go to the park today. Gary is getting so big! Sometimes I look at him and wonder where my baby boy went. He's got this face full of freckles and blue eyes full of wonder.

I just loved his eyes in this picture. It's a rare occasion when Gary is willing to have his picture taken. Today was one of those occasions and I took full advantage of it! I just wish I hadn't cut his chin off in this picture!

It's been the perfect day off. After such a stressful tax season, it was a welcome break! I loved getting to hang with John and then both my boys after school let out.

What are your plans for the weekend? My plans include a birthday. Who's, you ask? Mine!! Of course!! :)

Conversations with boys

Gary: My teacher let me borrow this book today.

Me: What is it?

Gary: It's the 100 most dangerous things on this planet.

Me: Oh yea? Where's your page?

Gary: If I were in this book, I'd be on the first page.

John: I'm thirsty. Can I have a water?

Mom: Yes, you can get a water from the fridge.

John: *runs to the fridge, grabs a water, runs back into the living room and trips on his way.

Dad: John, try this again. You know you need to walk in the house. Now go to the fridge and walk back.

John: *walks back to the fridge, opens the fridge door, puts water back. Grabs a different water, closes the fridge door. Then walks backwards to the living room.

Me: Honey, would you still love me if I were really really fat?

James: Yes

Me: Would you still love me if I were bald?

James: Yes

Me: Would you still love me if my skin turned green?

James: Yes

Me: Would you still love me if my vagina closed up?

James: Yes. Your mouth would still work, right?

Me: What if my vagina and my mouth closed up and I was forced to consume baby food through a straw for the rest of my life?

James: We'd have to discuss the whole mistress thing, but I would still love you.

Me: This is going on the blog.

James: If you can remember it.

Bowl in the sink

Due to some babysitter issues yesterday a backup babysitter was called in but didn’t start until 6am. This meant I got to spend the morning with my boys. The mornings I get to spend with my boys have got to be some of my favorites. I think because they are so few and far between. The weekend mornings don’t count for some reason, though I don’t know why. It’s just different when it’s during the week I guess.

This is a conversation I had with John as we were finishing up with breakfast:

John: “I’m done with my cereal.”

Me: “Ok, put your bowl in the sink.”

John: “Why?”

Me: “Because I said so.”

John: “Oh. But my stomach hurts.”

Me: “Well, that doesn’t mean you can’t put your bowl in the sink.”

John: “I need you to do it.”

Me: “No, I don’t think so. Please put the bowl in the sink.”

John: “But mom, my stomach hurts. It’s gonna rip and rip my shirt.”

Me: “Oh no. I’m so sorry to hear that. I need you to put the bowl in the sink before that happens though, ok?”

John: “Ok” {grabs the bowl and heads towards the sink} “Mom, my feet hurt.”

Me: “Well, they’re not going to fall off before you get to the sink.”

***

Last night I was left alone with the boys, and if you remember what happened last time when mom is left in charge of dinner, you can imagine what I did this time.

Actually, it wasn’t that bad. I made grilled cheese sandwiches. Gary and John each had a sandwich with American cheese, I made mine with Baby Swiss. Yum! But I digress. Gary must have been super hungry because he had scarffed his sandwich down in record time. Once finished, he asked if he could have a snack. I told him yes and he headed straight for the homemade chocolates sitting on the counter. He grabbed 2 pieces of fudge, but before he could get too far I told him he could only have 1. He placed the second piece on the table in front of John intending for John to have it when he finished with his dinner. At this point into dinner, John hadn’t eaten even half of his sandwich. He reached for the piece of chocolate in front of him, but wasn’t fast enough. I grabbed it with lightening speed and told him he had to finish his dinner before he could have it.

He stuffed what was left of the first half of the sandwich into his mouth and washed it down with his Capri-Sun and tried to convince me he was finished. I told him he had to finish the other half before he could have the fudge. He proceeded to slowly eat the other half, in between playing silly games with me and laughing hysterically. The chocolate remained in front of me as we ate and played. John got down to the corner of the crust and decided it was time to use the bathroom. While he was gone, I decided he had eaten enough and picked up the sandwich and placed the fudge on his plate, throwing the last bit of dinner in the garbage. When he came back to the table and noticed his sandwich was missing, he threw a huge fit! The tears were pouring, the snot was flowing, he threw himself on the fireplace and had himself a tantrum! He cried at me saying he was going to finish his sandwich. So like any good mom would do, I fished the sandwich out of the garbage and placed it back on his plate. I moved the fudge to the counter and watched as he stuffed the remains of the sandwich in his mouth. (For those who are completely grossed out, the garbage had just been emptied and the only thing in the trash can was the plastic liner and my paper plate.) After he had finished the sandwich he looked up at me and said, “I’m done with my sandwich, can I have the fudge now?”

I’ve got to wonder – Did he really want the last bit of sandwich or did he just think he needed to finish it to get the fudge? The world may never know…

Johnny is...

Yep, my baby boy is 4 years old today. I let him choose anything he wanted for breakfast and he chose cereal. He chose white cake with green, red, and white colors and then told me what order he wanted the colors in. He chose blue and red for the frosting decorations. He's 4!! I think there should be a certain age you have to be before you can make choices. Kinda like driving, you can't make any choices until your 18! Until then, just rely on your parents to know what's right for you, mkay? Thanks!

John is the independant one. He wants to do everything himself, and he wants to help with everything. Whether it's laundry, baking, or eating that last piece of chocolate, I can always count on him to help me out.

So, in honor of my baby turning 4 years old today - enjoy another addition of 'Where's Monster Truck'

This little guy wanted to be just like the real monster trucks in Monster Jam.

Ok, do you see the 5 lined up on the side of the dump truck? Do you also see the other monster trucks inside the dump truck? Thank you Santa and Papa...

It's been a rather exhausting day with my sweet 4 year old. John was 'helping' me bake his cake and James walked into the kitchen. John looks up at James and says:

John: "Dad, come here. Let me see your face."

Dad: Puts his face right next to John.

John: "I think it hurts."

Dad: "Thanks John. Good to know my face hurts."

John: "Yeah, it's like a big owie."

He is so not cute

James and I were relaxing in our room, watching tv, after we put the boys to bed. James was sprawled out on his stomach and me next to him. I decided to be a good wife and give him a back rub. I crawled onto his back and started kneading his sore muscles when I heard little feet approach the bedroom door. James and I watch silently as John creeps ever so slowly into the bedroom, almost as if he was trying to be sneaky but being full aware that we are watching him. He climbs onto the bed and crawls over to the other side with a little smirk like he had actually gotten away with it. Ok, he did get away with it, but I digress.


I look at James and tell him, “Deal with your son!” To which, James replies, “But, honey…”

“Don’t honey me, honey. Quit being such a sucker and deal with him!” So James looks at John and says “John, go back to bed.” John looks at his dad like he’s stupid and says, “Daddy, I am in bed” and proceeds to lie down next to him and watch tv. James and I look at each other and sigh.

When I finished with James’ back rub, James decided to take a shower and invited me to join him. As I was getting ready to take a shower, I looked at John and said, “You better be in bed by the time we get out of the shower!” “Ok, mom” was his response.

And where do you think he was when we got out of the shower?



Yep, in our bed. Under the covers. The little snot!




Linking up with 5 minutes for mom, and 7 clown circus,  Let's just pretend this is wordless though, ok?

Conversations with John

Updated to add yet another conversation:

While James and I are in the shower:

John: "Mom, can I shower with you and dad?"

Me: "No."

Daddy: "John, you can shower with me when mom leaves."

I then proceed to get onery with James...

Daddy: "Hey John, do you want to get in the shower with us right now?"

John: "No, wait 'til mommy leaves."

Me: "Smart boy!"

After I leave the shower and John gets in:

Me: "Hey James, why don't you wash him while he's in there?"

Daddy: "Duh!" To John - "John, mommy doesn't think I'm that smart."

John: "Yeah, I know"

Me: "Hee hee hee!"

Daddy: "John, that wasn't very nice."

John: Busts out laughing!

Original Post
Sitting on the floor watching Yo, Gabba Gabba (someone please shoot me):


Me: Fussing with John’s bear blankie

John: “Mom, just hold me.”

***
On our way to the babysitters; John curled up in the seat next to me:

John: “Mom, pet me.”

*When John says ‘pet me’ he wants us to rub his back, legs, head, etc… )

***

John turning the Christmas tree lights on and off:

Papa: “John, stop doing that.”

John: Puts both his hands out in front of him as if to say ‘Stop’. “Papa, calm down! Just calm down!” Then takes off running and hides behind my legs.

Me: “What is going on?”

Papa: “Do you know what the little toad just did?”

John: Holding is hands out again, “Papa, calm down! Calm down!”

Me: Bust out laughing

***

Me: “John, you’re such a sweet boy.”

John: “Yep.”        

***

John: “Mom, can I have some hot chocolate?”

Me: “No, it’s too close to dinner?”

John: “What?”

Me: “No.”

John: Starts to cry and walks into the kitchen where Papa is making dinner. “Papa, I want some hot chocolate but mommy said no!” Is now having a full on temper tantrum

Me: “John, calm down. Just calm down!"
John: Cries even harder

my 2 (and a half)

My 2 (and a half) hours starts right now!

Since my husband is the greatest man on earth, I must brag on what an awesome husband I have.

He tells me "After John's breathing treatment is done, I have a present for you."

Sweet! I like presents! Ok, kid - hurry up and finish with that breathing treatment would ya'. Mommy needs a present! :)

After the breathing treatment, James suggestively walks me into the bedroom and shuts the door behind him. He undresses me, lies me down on the bed and then...

leaves?!?!

As he walks out the bedroom door he tells me, "I'll see you at 4. Enjoy your nap."

But, as you can clearly see, it is only 2:30. Before he can shut the door again, I tell him. Can I just have 2 hours free time to do whatever I want? You know, instead of take a nap. So he walks back in and agrees that I can use that time for whatever I want. Then he starts getting fresh with me again. I tell him, "You're using up my 2 hours, dear. This is my time, remember?" He says, "How can I make it up to you?" I tell him, "For every minute you waste use of mine, I get 2 in return." He readily agrees and wastes uses 13 more of my minutes.

As I'm showering, I figure out the math in my head and came up with when my time would end. 4:39pm. This was my logic:

Me: Hey Honey, here's my logic on the whole time thing. You used 13 of my minutes and I get 2 for every minute you used. Right?

James: Right

Me: Ok. Then 13 times 2 = 26, right?

James: Right

Me: Ok, so 2 hours from 2:13 is 4:13. Plus 26 minutes is 4:39

James: It doesn't work that way, dear. You don't get 2 minutes plus 2.

Me: That doesn't make any sense

James: ~Bangs his head on the wall

So, I'll be sewing and making the grocery list until 4:39!

Let the Randomonium Commence

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything random. That could be because the meds are working properly or that I was distracted by chickens and shiny objects. At least I'm not distracted by squirrels. That would be weird.

First things first, a tree update. If you're new to my blog and wonder why I'm posting regulary about trees - I have A.D.D. and that's what I do! To read the first post you can go here, and additional updates on the trees, you can go here and here.

This first picture I actually took on Dec 10.

















This next picture I took just this morning.



















By the looks of it you might actually think it's fall around here, but no. This is winter in the desert. I can't believe how much the colors have changed in just 5 days!

I have lots of baking to do. Cookies for a church function tonight, chookies for bible study tomorow night, brownies for a pot luck tomorrow afternoon, Gary's birthday cake for Thursday night, and Gary's birthday cupcakes for his party on Saturday. Whew, I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

Oh, did I mention Gary's having a birthday this week? He's going to be 9 years old on Thursday!! I'm so not ready for another birthday. Thinking about him getting older makes me want to lock us all in a time capsule and never emerge. Last year, I told him he wasn't allowed to turn 8. He didn't believe me and consequently, he turned a year older. Ack! Do you think if he believed me this year then it wouldn't happen? I'm trying my best to reverse the effects of time, but so far nothing's worked.

*oh look, a hummingbird is in my tree!

What's up with the bumpy sidewalk outside the Wal-Mart and Target centers? I shop mostly at Wal-Mart, so this comment is directed more towards them. That small strip of sidewalk that you have to go over before entering the parking lot is really annoying. It shakes up my soda, knocks off everything I have underneath the cart and is generally a pain in the rear. I wasn't able to find any information about it on their website or on google.

I really need a blog makeover, but really don't want to pay anybody to do it for me. Backgrounds have been a mystery to me in trying to install them and really don't want that annoying name in the corner if I use someone elses template. I totally understand giving credit to the maker of the template, but I still don't want it there. Anybody know how to properly make and install a blogger template and be willing to share your knowledge? I would be forever grateful!

Oh, honey - I would like a new thumb drive for Christmas. My 8 gb is full with pictures from the past 4 years and lots and lots of scrapbooking stuff. Thank you!

Conversation with John:

John: "Mom, can I sleep with you ta-night?"

Me: "No"

John: Starts to cry and babble incoherently

Me: "I can't hear you."

John: Takes a deep breath and instantly turns off the waterworks. "Mom"

Me: "What John?"

John: "Can I sleep with you..... Please?"

Me: "No"

Fast forward to 2:30am

John: Crying to loud I thought he'd wake the neighborhood as he walks into our bedroom with Gary right behind him.

Gary: "Mom, John woke up crying and he won't stop."

John: "Can *sob* I *sob* sleep with *sob* you *sob*, Mom?" *sob*

Me: "Fine" Pulls up the covers so he can get in.

Gary: "Can I sleep with you too?"

Me: Grunts "Fine"

Boys: Crawl into bed

The next morning

Me: *thinking to myself - "what is that all over me?" Pulls back the sheets and reveals that John has peed in the bed. "Crap"

It's been like 6 months since this kid has been potty trained and wearing big boys underwear to bed and this is the first bed wetting accident he's had?!?!?!??? I ask you, why couldn't he have done that in his own bed?



       

100th post woes

I had this great idea for a 100th post celebration. I even got it started. It involved lots of pictures and some history. Instead, you're stuck with this. I'm sorry.

Why this instead of my grand idea, you ask? Because this morning, I scratched my eye. I have no idea who I managed to do that, but manage I did. And when I say I scratched my eye, I don't mean the eye lid, the corner, underneath it. No, I scratched my cornea and it hurts like nothing I've ever felt before. It actually brought me to my knees in both pain and prayer. The E.R. doc diagnosed me with a "cornea abrasion" which I think is the technical term for OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW x 1000. And if it weren't for Mr. Black's 7th grade computer lab that taught me how to type without looking at the keyboard, you probably wouldn't be getting this post at all! You're welcome.

So, in celebration of my 100th post and in light of my injury today... A conversation that really happened.

John: Mommy, are you blind?

Me: No

John: Why not?

Me: Do you want me to be blind?

John: Yes

A few seconds later, I cracked my good eye open just long enough to catch him stealing my glasses.

I hope the rest of my 7's of readers - *Ha James* have a blessed week.

Because my husband said it's no longer Monday - Conversations at the dinner table and proof that my husband can almost be domesticated... almost

Last night, nobody wanted to cook. *FIL wasn't home yet, it was 5:30 and we were all starving. I made a run to McDonald's for our dinner.

*FIL = Father in Law

After most of the food had been consumed, James got up and started clearing away the garbage. John, however, has become a bit of a slow eater. Even after trading 2 of his 4 chicken mcnuggets for more french fries, he still had 1 3/4 of his chicken mcnuggets left and a handful of french fries.
James cleared away John's ketchup. John looked at him from the corner of his eye.
James cleared away his empty chocolate milk jug. John gave him a dirty look, but after realizing the jug was empty, didn't say anything about it.
James cleared away his empty french fry wrapper (this was after all the french fries were dumped into the chicken nugget box). John looked at me with concern.
James came over and started reaching for John's box of chicken nuggets and french fries. Just as James started picking up the box, John let it be known that he.was.not.finished! A rather loud protest of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I'M NOT DONE YET" was probably heard 3 streets down.
James picked up his hands in defeat and backed away slowly. After James' back was turn, I looked at John. His back hunched over and his hands protectively covering his box of half eaten french fries, John glared at James and whispered just loud enough for me to hear:

"Baaaaaaaad Daddy"

_____________________________________________________________

Now, for proof that my husband can almost be domesticated:

Yep, that's James with my sewing maching and his trusty can of Dt. Mt. Dew. He was sewing together a holster strap for his truck. And when I say he is almost domesticated, I mean the finished product was nailed together. *sigh*

Random Musings of an underworked, overpayed, stress free mom.

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I don’t know any one who fits this description. If you find one, can you send her my way, please? I want to know the secret.
Thanks!


**Text message conversation I had with my friend Lori:

Me: Hey woman, I'm out of ideas for blog posts. Got an idea of something I can write about?

Lori: How about..... hmmmmmmm.....thinking..... Things to contemplate while one is sick.

Me: I've had a few contemplations the past few days. Like re-purposing shirts, how to make a water bottle holder, and baking cookies. But the only thing I accomplished was the shirt.

Lori: I didn't say accomplish! You're not suppose to do that when you're sick, silly!

Me: Oh, duh. I'm such a rule breaker.

             

I can see it now...

A few years ago, our family made the commitment to pray before a meal. Soon after this commitment was made, the tradition started. It was the tradition of 'whoever eats first before the prayer has to pray'.

A few years later, we moved into a small house with my father in law. He was very much aware of the first to eat rule and made the mistake of putting that first bite into his mouth. Now, my FIL is not a praying sort of man. To be honest, I'm not sure what his beliefs are about Christianity and religion. But, he was a good sport about this rule and complied. I don't remember the prayer itself, but it was what he did afterwards that has made it's way into our daily prayers. Instead of Amen, he said Buh-bye. John decided this was so much fun that he now says buh-bye after every meal prayer.

Since then, this tradition has grown into a life of it's own. It doesn't matter who is praying, but as soon as Amen is muttered, there is a loud round of BUH-BYE and fists in the air!

I can see it now...

It's Thanksgiving dinner, the boys are grown, married, and children of their own. The whole family is over for the Thanksgiving feast. James, the head of the household, blesses the meal, everyone says Amen and then...

BUH-BYE!!!

Conversations at the dinner table

As FIL is getting dinner on the table –


John: “Dad, dinner is ready. Momma, dinner is ready. Gar, dinner is ready.”

As we are all sitting down getting ready to serve dinner-

John:”I’ll pray it up, I’ll pray it up! Momma, I’ll pray it up!”

Daddy: “John, do you want to pray it up?”

John: “Nah”

As dinner commences-

Gary: “I am really dizzy. I feel like my ear is full of fluff and when I lie down I can hear a loud bang. My head hurts, and my stomach is gurgly.”

Papa: ”Sounds like you have a case of the ‘fall-a-parts’. “

Gary: “What’s that?”

Daddy: “That’s what happens when you don’t have the ‘put-togethers’”

As I’m trying to assemble my mashed potatoes-

This is more of a silent conversation that James and I have whenever mashed potatoes are served.

Michelle: Shapes her mashed potatoes into a mountain, digs a well in the middle, places the butter in the well, covers the hole over with mashed potatoes. Looks over and James, give the evil eye knowing he wants to smash the mashed potatoes. Protects the mashed potatoes with hand.

James: Looks slyly first at me, then the mashed potatoes. Bides his time for the perfect moment to make his move.

Michelle: Waiting for butter to melt properly inside the mashed potato mountain and grabs a forkful of peas with one hand still protecting the MPM with the other hand.

James: Assumes I’m no longer paying attention to him as I load my fork full of peas and makes his first move. He jabs the back of his fork over my hand in his attempt to smash the MPM.

Michelle: Is just too quick for James and blocks his first attempt and throws the forkful of peas into the air in doing so.

FIL: “What the HE!# was that all about?”

James: “Michelle always makes a MPM whenever we have mashed potatoes and I always try to smash them. It’s been going on for years now.”

Michelle: ”Yeah, but this is the first time I’ve ever flung peas everywhere.“

James: Assumes once again that I am no longer paying attention and makes another attempt to smash the MPM.

Michelle: Stealthily thwarts his attempt

James: Frustrated, he jabs aimlessly at the MPM.

Michelle: “If you poke me with your fork, you’ll be sorry. “

James: For the moment, relents on smashing the MPM.

Michelle: Decides the butter inside the MPM has properly melted, and smashed her own mashed potato mountain. “I WIN! HA HA”

This is why dinner is my favorite time of the day!

And, because I have A.D.D. and I'll use any means possible to remember stuff - Don't let me forget to tell about "Again, Again Mommy" If I don't post it by this time tomorrow, send me an email. Please

Conversations at the dinner table

Can it be? 3 posts in one day? What can I say? Today has been full of funny stuff, and I like to post funny stuff! However, I suggest you savor these posts, and maybe read them one day at a time because tomorrow is Saturday and I have a softball game tonight. Most of the time, I'm just the scorekeeper, but being that Casting Crowns is in town doing a concert tonight, and our softball team is in a church league, most of our team will not be present tonight. So, I may have to play - in which case, I'll be too sore to write anything tomorrow.

Now, before I get to the funny conversation, I think you need a little history. I'm sure you noticed I often refer to my youngest son, John, as Mustard. A while back, John and I were playing 'Monster'.   Are you getting it yet? I was in the kitchen and he was in the living room. The two rooms are seperated by a fireplace, then a little desk area with a 'passthrough' between the living room and kitchen. John screamed at me, "YOUR A MUSTARD"  meaning Monster. So I screamed back, "NO, YOUR A MUSTARD". This made John really mad. He ran into the kitchen screaming, "NO, I'M JOHN." and slamming his little fists into his stomach as he said John for emphasis. His little face turned different shades of red as we continued to argue over what his name was. I couldn't help but laugh at how angry he had gotten. He had never gotten angry like that before and hasn't since. But ever since then, I've called him Mustard. It doesn't make him mad anymore, and actually I would even venture to say he likes it. We'll be shopping at WalMart and go down the condiment aisle. He'll point at the mustard and say, "Mommy, it's me - Mustard."

So, the best conversations always happen at the dinner table. Since I call John Mustard all the time, I decided Gary needed a similiar nickname. We were having a fend-for-yourself night for dinner and Gary made himself a sandwhich. I took this opportunity to try out the new nickname.

Me: "How's your sandwich, Ketchup?"

G: "I'm not ketchup, I'm mustard"

Me: "No, your not. John is Mustard. He's always been Mustard."

G: "Well, then we're switching. I'll be Mustard and he can be Ketchup."

Me: "No, I'd never be able to keep that straight."

G: "Ok, then I'll be Jelly"

Me: "Jelly, huh? Ok, how your sandwich, Jelly?"

G: "Pretty good."

John: "I wanna be butter"

Me: "You can't be butter, your Mustard."

John: "No, I wanna be PB"

Me: "PB?? Great, now I have a sandwich family"

I just LOVE dinner time!

When will I ever learn?

The best conversations happen at the dinner table.

Last night, I prepared a lovely meal of leftover tuna noodle casserole with peas and a side salad. *Side note, because that's how my brain works, all the salad dressing was expired but we ate it anyway. Ewww, who does that?*

We always pray before we eat the dinner meal, and our one rule is that if someone eats before the food is blessed, then that person has to pray. Last night, dad placed a big 'ol forkful of casserole his mouth and we all said "oooooohhhh, daddy has to pray!" His excuse was that since this is leftovers, the food had all ready been blessed. So, of course, like I usually do - I badgered him until he put his fork down and prayed. His prayer, while very appropriate in wording, had a bit of a tone to it. When he finished, I told him - "dear, I don't think Jesus likes your tone."

Gary replied - "Mom, their's no wrong way to pray. Jesus hears them all."

How. Does. He. DO. THAT?!

At least I know he's paying attention in church!

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In other news - we're looking forward to a fun 3 day weekend. Mine started at 12:30 this afternoon since my department rocks! They let us all leave 2 hours early.

The kids are going to spend the night at my mom's house tonight, so if you could say a prayer for her, she'll be needing it! Not only will she have my 2 boys, but my sister, her boyfriend and their 3 kids, ages 7, 5, and 3 live with her for the time being. I was also just informed that there will be 3 other kids hanging out until their dad picks them up. No, my mom does not run a daycare center, but I'm pretty sure she'd be a millionaire by now if she did. In exchange for a peaceful night without boys, I'll be forced blessed to keep my sisters 2 boys on Saturday night.

Tonight, James and I will be spending time with some new friends of ours. Then tomorrow James and his dad will be spending the ENTIRE day taking their CCW class. (that's the concealed carry weapon for those that don't know) I'll get the morning to myself until I pick up the little urchlings darlings. Maybe I'll get some sewing in or some housecleaning. Scratch the housecleaning. I'll stick to sewing!

*******************

I believe this is the first time I've ever heard my kid say this. (This just happened by the way). John started crying and and came over to me. From the living room, Gary told me, "Whatever he says, he's LYING". At least he makes it easy for me to know who to punish!

What are you up to this weekend?

Short post because I'm tired, cranky, and annoyed.

I had a bad day at work. I attempted to write it all down for a post, but when I went back to re-read what I wrote, a lot of it didn't make sense, thinking from an outsider who doesn't work where I work. Wasn't that considerate of me to think of you? Your welcome. So I scrapped the whole damn thing and decided to write this instead, because my kids are funnier than I am.

The other night, we were sitting at the dinner table. FIL *Father in Law* had made tuna noodle casserole for dinner. The conversation that followed went something like this:

Me: John, do you like it?

John: Yes

Me: Tell Papa thank you

John: Thank you Papa

Me: Tell Papa 'You da' man'

John: Papa, are you man?

Papa: Last time I checked

Me: No, John. Tell Papa - "You"

John: You

Me: "Da'"

John: Duh

Me: "Man"

John: Man

Me: Good Job. Now tell Papa, 'You da' bomb'

John: Papa, you a bum




Here's a picture to distract you from the fact that I had a bad day...


Gary decided to take the sprinkler off the hose while playing outside today. Then I told him he had to put the sprinkler back on, so he tried without turning the hose off first!

Conversations that really happened

Matthew 19:14 ...for the kindom of Heaven belongs to such as these.




Have I mentioned recently




How much




I love this boy!

Tonight at the dinner table, John grabs a packet of sweet & sour sauce and 'breaks' it. S&S is all over his hands and he's crying for a napkin. He gets himself all cleaned up - here's the conversation:

John: Dad, did you break it?

Dad: No, John. You broke it.

John: I break it?

Mom: John, are you defective?

John: Huh?

Mom: Do we need to take you to the little boy store and exchange you?

John: No

Mom: Can I return you to the little boy store and buy a girl?

Gary: Mom, you can't return a gift from God.